What I discovered today did not have a fancy picture to be posted on instagram. And perhaps a little too long for a facebook status. Then I remembered, hey! I had have a blog! Time to use it.

I get to sit and hang out with 3 ladies today where 2 of them were my friends for almost 10 years and 1 new friend. I met them at seperate times and yet both of today’s conversations were somehow driven to defining success and associating it to being moms, wives or just generally being a woman. 

Expectations. That is the main problem. Society has an ideal idea of a succesful Mom should be. Which includes, having a full time job if you have a degree while being a single mother caring for 2 kids on her own. Not working full time, or being an entrepenuer, or choosing to be home to take care of her own kids - is not exactly “Succesful”. You have a degree? You must have a corporate career! 

When full time working moms choose to spend equal amount of time to excel in her career and caring for her kids, people just sees it as the mom loving her career more than her children. To which my friend responds beautifully with hashtags #ilovemykids #ilovemyjobtoo. 

Just because a mom is earning substantial amount of money from her job, it’s crazy to quit simply because she chose time to be with family rather than a fat paycheck. People are asking her, “are you sure you want to quit your job?”  

Goes to show SUCCESS or being succesful is not a mold  that fits everyone. It is so subjective. What success is to you, does not mean the same for others. Success is individually derived according to their values. 

While we know what we want, we always give in to expectations. But the ladies I met today were strong women. They know what they want, and they ditch what people think they should be doing. Most importantly they were happy with their choices. We all have different values in life. Some values time. Others value money. Some others value family and friends. So being successful depends on that values. Yes, there is guilt. Yes, there is uncertainty. But once you surpass that, and understand your values, it will make you realize life is more than just meeting expectations. 

I don’t usually deal with expectations very well. I still don’t. But I’m learning to let go. Keep things in a simpler perspective and just let go.